


Man of Complexity

by kaboomz



Category: Raffles (TV 1977), Raffles - E. W. Hornung
Genre: Albany Era, Bunny is (too) self-conscious, But we still love him, I love Bunny so much, I wanted to keep it short, I'm sad he deserves so much better, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Raffles is a dick, Right?, but i love them anyway, but my mood say hell naw, like 'school girls' stupid, these two being difficult, they're being stupid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:00:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26558557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaboomz/pseuds/kaboomz
Summary: Three weeks break between Bunny and Raffles. Is it for the better?
Relationships: Bunny Manders/A. J. Raffles
Kudos: 3





	Man of Complexity

**Author's Note:**

> This story is probably a mess. I may have added something contradictive, unnecessary, or unexplainable. Plus this wasn't beta-ed, so... You have been warned.

“Her jewelleries are quite exquisite, Bunny, look,” Raffles grabbed my left forearm as he dragged me almost across the ballroom toward the owner of the ‘exquisite jewelleries’.

I honestly thought her ‘exquisite’ jewelleries were rather dull, but who was I to judge? I was no A. J. Raffles, The Amateur Cracksman. He’s been eyeing the jewelleries for some time now, and he was awfully delighted when her – the jewelleries owner – father invited Raffles to his birthday celebration. I was, of course, wasn’t invited but Raffles insisted me to join him as he’s one of the ‘honourable’ amongst guests – which to my advantages – was allowed to bring one or more companies or escorts. I declined at first since I knew nothing about her but, of course, Raffles had his way of changing one’s mind.

The thing about her was the fact that Raffles not only found her jewelleries to be exquisite, but also found her physical traits charming. At second glance I could see why Raffles said that to me. She was a tall woman, slender and light. Her smile always decorated with charm and also curiosity. A red-haired woman with the utmost importance face of our society, impossibly rich, and slightly mischievous. She fitted every single traits and personalities Raffles adored in a woman.

Me – the ever-lost little rabbit – having a handful moment of thinking something to do in the midst of rich and unknown people. As always, I was having a rather hard time making conversation with anybody that didn’t find me boring or somewhat ‘lower class’. I was never the man like Raffles, who could be as composed as a politician and charming as a prince.

“But Raffles, won’t she see us?”

“Nonsense, dear Bunny. I wanted to introduce you to her.”

“But why? I’m sure I won’t be much appeal to her.”

“Another nonsense! She’s interested in poetry such as you are and I’m absolutely positive both of you can find much more in common.”

I was a nervous wreck when she stared into my eyes when Raffles introduced us. Her eyes were icy blue, a suitable contrast to her red rose lips. Her curls fell acceptably aesthetic between her forehead and hairline. I didn’t hear her name as the ballroom was too loud with music and chattering, but when she gave me her hand, I held it with politeness. I said my name with a slight jitter on my very hand.

“Mr. Raffles told me that you have certain interest in poetry and fiction. Is that so?” her voice met my hearing.

“Yes,” I simply answered.

“Delightful! I’m an admirer of poetry as well. Particularly Elizabeth Browning.”

At this point I believe I muttered an ‘is that so?’ because the next minute she explained her love for Elizabeth Browning’s work that I didn’t actually have interest on. I was stuck with her while Raffles – as I noticed later – has gone to the unknown. I have a really terrible time at following her conversation, only to give up in the end and instead focusing on her earrings and tiara.

At a closer look, I started to understand why Raffles had called it ‘exquisite’. Her tiara was the embodiment of emerald, ruby, and other diamonds I hadn’t the time to memorize. It was crafted with such a skilled hand, wrapped up her red hair just nicely. Her earrings were much simpler, but still looked handy and steep. It was made with white silver, moulded into the shape of a crescent moon with a blue diamond accent.

I was happily nodding to her when suddenly there’s another gentleman wished to speak to her and excused herself. I searched for Raffles only to find him outside, smoking his Sullivans in silence and alone. I greeted him and made him startled a bit.

“I’m sorry, Bunny. I seemed to be busy in my own head,” he said, patting my shoulder, “what do you think of Miss Dandrew?”

 _So that’s her name,_ I thought.

“I honestly can’t think of anything about her. She’s rather chatty although she seems rather nice,” I answered truthfully.

“Rather nice? Oh, why Bunny, what kind of woman do you want if she only seems ‘rather nice’ to you? I thought she’s awfully beautiful.”

“She’s awfully rich, that’s certain.”

“Hm yes,” Raffles said, lips were slightly pulled into a smirk. A habit he had long ago every time his mind was racing for something. “I think I’ve changed my plan for tonight, Bunny. I will not rob her.”

I widened my eyes as if I heard him incorrectly. How on earth did he suddenly change plans after all this time whining about her jewelleries? Nothing could stop him from robbing someone he eyed for quite some time. Not even Inspector Mackenzie.

“But why, Raffles?”

“I think I can rob her in another way. That’s all,” he answered wickedly.

What did he mean by that? What could possibly be more tempting than jewels and diamonds for Raffles? Was it – oh was it really what I thought?

“What do you mean?”

“Intimacy can give us more profit, dear Bunny, and I intended to do just that,” he said firmly.

I paled although maybe not physically, because Raffles barely noticed my sudden physical change. Behaviourally, maybe.

“What’s wrong?”

“N-nothing! If that is the way you chose, then I’m on,” I blabbered.

“Excellent! Now I know it may take some time, but I promise you Bunny, the reward would be unimaginable!”

After another sickening moment of chit-chatting with God-knows-who, Raffles and I finally retired from the party. I watched and listened Raffles saying his good bye to Miss Dandrew with incredible amount of patience as he showered her with flirtation and charm. I wished I could get sick of Raffles’ charm but alas, it could only be a wish as I couldn’t do to not admired Raffles in any way.

I automatically detested her as she said she wished to see Raffles some other time because she had a really terrific time with him. Raffles smiled proudly because he knew she’s already inside his trap. Honestly, it wasn’t all hard for Raffles to make her fall for him. Raffles had all the charm, wit, and reputation. Any woman would be stupid enough to dislike him.

“Don’t you hear what she said, Bunny? I think that reward wouldn’t be too long to get now,” he said as he grabbed my arm and widdling his cane on his other hand.

I mumbled an affirmation as I tried so hard to hide my actual response. He asked me to drink and sit around for a while at the Albany but I declined his tempting invitation. I was quite fed up for the night and I wanted to release all my discomfort alone up in my flat in Mount Street.

“Alright, old fellow. Good night then,” he said smiling. He elbowed me lightly on the ribs, gave me a wink, and went inside the Albany.

I smiled to him until I could no longer see his back and his dark curls. My smile eventually dropped as I remembered what just happened that night. The beautiful yet irritating smile of Miss Dandrew decorated my mind as Raffles complimented her beauty in front of my very own eyes.

Up on my flat in Mount Street, I promptly set myself for a nice lukewarm bath and a fresh night gown. Laying alone in a dark room on an old bed, I recalled again the event of the night. How Raffles had dressed immensely perfect for the evening and I was there when he dressed himself. I helped him with his bowtie as his lips wouldn’t stop talking about whatever nonsense as I was too busy admiring his jaws. Our body was so close, his warmth was comfortable and yet I could do nothing about it.

These feelings I had for him was initially a boyhood admiration back when we’re still in school. But since our reunion on that faithful day on March, I’ve been shaking something deeper and stronger. Back then, I admired Raffles’ wit and bravery. But now, I didn’t know what I didn’t admire about him. I was afraid that my boyhood admiration has turned into an unusual obsession.

I shook this train of thought as I was afraid that it’d lead in to something I’d regret the next morning. I tried so hard to shut down my mind as I rolled back and forth, feet shaking in frustration. At around 1 in the morning my system finally gave up and let me fell asleep until 9 the next morning.

I woke up feeling rather fresh and nice despite the horrible thought I went before sleeping. I went into the kitchen to make some coffee and breakfast. With toast on my hand, I walked toward the front door as I heard the mailman dropped my letters punctually as usual. It contained mostly about my newsletters, news from my editor for my newspaper articles, salaries for my small writings here and there, and some advertisements.

At around 1 in the afternoon, I was restless and tired of writing and reading, I began to think of visiting Raffles at the Albany. I dressed myself and stared at my reflection on the mirror. I fixed my hair the best I could as I wished it could grow red like Miss Dandrew’s. I imagined myself to be Miss Dandrew, being the target of Raffles’ sweet flirtation on the party last night.

I shook the thought on my head as I walked and closed the door behind me.

At the Albany I greeted Beckett the porter and asked him how he’s doing.

“Just the usual sir,” he answered politely.

At the door number 3, I noticed the door was slightly open. I was confused because I thought Raffles was out for a moment only to found his cane and his hat still on its place. I entered his rooms quietly and didn’t say a single word as my suspicious grew bigger. _Maybe a burglary is a foot,_ I thought.

My suspicious was proved to be far worse as I found Raffles was pinned into one of his bookshelves. Miss Dandrew was there pinning him, sticking her lips against Raffles’. I didn’t gasp nor did I let out any sort of expressions. I simply stood where I found them and froze like statue. Raffles was the one that noticed my present first as he’s the one that faced me and startled.

“Bunny!” he exclaimed as he pushed away Miss Dandrew slightly.

“I-I’m terribly sorry, Raffles. I thought the door was – I thought there’s a burglary going on and – I think – I thought – “ I was stumbling upon my own words and ended up not finishing anything.

“It’s quite alright, Bunny. Emily and I was just – “

“We were just discussing about crickets, isn’t that right Arthur?” she said with a smile.

I stood there awkwardly, not knowing what to say or what to do. I finally said, “I-I’m sorry for dropping unannounced. I’ll come back later if you’d like.”

“No – “

“That would be wonderful, Mr. Manders. Thank you so much,” she said, cutting Raffles’ words.

I was shocked at her intervention. How could she? I was talking to Raffles, not her.

“It’s probably for the best, Bunny,” Raffles finally said.

My jaw dropped although not widely. I was speechless at his words. All this time of him saying to visit him whenever I pleased, all this time of him saying to come to him whenever I’ve got nothing else better to do.

I observed Raffles with great disappointment. His hair was dishevelled although he was well dressed for the day. His icy skin was flustered, particularly around his cheeks. Some books were near his feet, obviously fell from the shelves behind his back. There’s no need to went and fetch Sherlock Holmes to deduce something out of that.

“Alright,” I said, as a good bye as well as a regret.

The next day I didn’t dare to step another foot on the Albany. I was waiting for Raffles to telephone me or delivered me a short letter to straightened what had happened the other day. But neither of them had I received. I caught myself often enough pacing worriedly inside my rooms, thinking what I should do or shouldn’t do. But it’s just merely thoughts for I hadn’t the slightest gut to act my mind. Raffles’ silence took the best of me three weeks after the incident and I finally decided to pay him another visit.

I didn’t rehearse what I’m about to say to him nor did I think of anything to say to him. My mind was blank but at the same time so full of prejudices and questions. I felt the slight dizziness and vertigo throughout my trip to the Albany as I often to felt when I’m nervous or embarrassed. I tried to calm my nerve down since I’m only about to talk to Raffles, my oldest friend and companion. But it’s no use.

If only my sentiment toward him was merely platonic, it couldn’t be that hard to confront him. If only my attitude that day was indifferent enough to let it passed. If only I had the courage to hit him with a casual ‘hello!’ the next day after the incident. Oh, if only, if only!

“Is Mr. Raffles in, Beckett?” I asked the kind porter.

“I’m afraid not, Mr. Manders. He’s been out for two hours with a lady.”

My heart beat unnaturally as I heard the word ‘lady’ from Beckett. Of course, I should’ve known. Raffles hadn’t got the time to contact me because he’s busy with her. And as I knew Raffles’ nature to its very root, he wouldn’t bother to ask me anything. I suddenly felt small, as if something (or someone) could crumple me into a ball like unused paper and throw me away.

“Oh, I see,” I answered, staring into nothing.

“But I think you can wait him in his rooms, sir. Mr. Raffles said he will be back exactly at 10.30,” Beckett added.

“With the lady?”

“I don’t think so, sir. They seemed like they had a quarrel earlier today and they both left with a sour face.”

I was obviously lying if Beckett’s words didn’t make me smile like a child. My three weeks of isolation and three weeks of feeling like I was on a sinking boat suddenly felt like it never happened. A quarrel? What a good way of ending a relationship.

“Thank you very much for the information, Beckett. I think I’ll just wait for Mr. Raffles in his rooms.”

Raffles’ flat smelled awfully like a woman’s cologne. She’s obviously been here for some time now, which made my blood boil. The thought of her spending half her time here was enough to made me sick to the gut. I decided to sit on my usual chair, only to noticed Raffles’ bedroom was opened. Curiosity took the better of me as I unconsciously walked toward his bedroom. Fortunately, Raffles’ room still smelt like him. It’s not contaminated by anything other than Raffles’ own cologne and Sullivans. I looked around as I noticed his light brown night gown was scattered on his bed. I took it as I felt the soothing linen on my fingers, imagining touching Raffles’ with this on.

“Well, thank you for picking that up, Bunny. I must admit I was in a bit of hurry this morning and I didn’t have the time to hang that up,” came a voice behind me.

I would be lying if I didn’t startle. I threw my vision behind my back and saw Raffles standing there, smirking as his hand reached the doorknob.

“I didn’t mean to barge in, Raffles. I was just waiting for you and I saw your bedroom’s door was opened and I thought – “

“It’s alright, Bunny. I wasn’t accusing you of anything,” Raffles laughed. He laughed with that Godawful charming smile that stretched from ear to ear. “After you hang the gown, come with me to the sitting room. I have plenty of stories to tell you.”

I nodded as he left me alone inside his bedroom. I swiftly looked for a hanger and joined him on the sitting room.

“So…”

“So…” I echoed.

“Where to start?” he asked, more to himself than to me. I chose to remain silent.

“How’s Miss Dandrew?” I asked.

“Hm? Oh, she’s sailing to Australia. I was with her when her ship sailed off this morning.”

“She’s gone?” I asked again, tinged with hope.

“I’m afraid yes. I’m sorry, Bunny, I’ve got a lot of things I must tell you but none of those come up to my lips. I don’t know why,” Raffles chuckled bitterly.

The sight of Raffles being awkward and confused with himself was so new to me that his awkwardness instantly grew on me. He kept staring at the carpet and I followed him as I didn’t dare to stared directly at him. His fingers were dancing on top of the leathery fabric of his sofa, searching for something to busy its nerves.

“Sullivans?” I offered him.

After a while he nodded, “that’ll do, Bunny. Thank you.”

I went around him and opened his cigarettes box, took a lighter, and brought it upon him. I slipped one cigar between his lips as I noticed he’s staring at me. I grew more nervous as I knew perfectly something’s definitely off. When I lighted the match I accidentally saw his cold and precise eyes. They’re filled with something I hadn’t seen before in my days with him.

“Bunny…” he said. He prevented my hand to find its way to light his cigar.

“Yes?” I replied, somewhat with an irregular smile.

My eyes found his and he somewhat leaning forward and forward to the point I could feel his breath and smell his cologne. That sweet musky smell I longed to be surrounded with for the past three weeks. He took away the cigar from his lips and leaned closer. I couldn’t do anything as I was so starstruck with how close we were and how his icy grey eyes were asking for something. Something that I didn’t know.

I was still frozen from where I stood when his lips brushed mine. The taste of expensive whiskey and a little tobacco filled my tongue. He then reached the back of my head slowly and tenderly and still I gasped. He took this as an opportunity to slid his tongue inside me and dominated mine. My legs suddenly went weak and jelly when he deepened the kiss, but he held me. He held me like I was his tomorrow and after.

When his hand reached my waistband, I suddenly realized this wasn’t what I wanted. I pushed him away despite my instinct to followed where he’s leading.

“How could you, Raffles? You abandoned me for three weeks with nothing but silence and now you decided to show up and played with my feelings? It’s an awful thing to do, even for you,” I said, half yelling.

Raffles’ eyes lit up with fire of rage when I shouted at him. But I wasn’t afraid, I was madly pissed at him.

“Define ‘awful’, Bunny, because I’ve been doing awful things this whole time with burglary if you put it that way,” he said coldly.

“Y-you abandon me while you’re with her and now you…you – “

I stared at Raffles he stared back at me. His eyes were usually cold but not if it’d met mine. Never, not even when we’re still stupid young boys inside his dorm back at our school days. But now they’re the coldest amongst stones. But I didn’t flinch nor did I trembled in fear at his stare, I stared right back at those eyes as I stared at it desperately loving as I always do before this moment.

I didn’t know what cause me to left my sentence unfinished. Raffles was kind enough to let me talk uninterrupted, yet I stopped myself half the way. When the tears of frustration spilled from my eyes, I began to realize I was struggling to express what I felt into words, for I felt everything when he’s around. Agitation, happiness, anxious, and anger, they’re all there. I felt the slight of embarrassment as well as I noticed his stare was softened when he saw my tears. He’s probably worried at his little rabbit crying in his rooms.

“I can see that both of us have our own struggle to articulate our minds,” he finally said.

“So unlike you,” I replied, sarcastically.

He smiled. The same smile he always gave me; rich and pure. The smile I like most in this world.

“Yes. Only because of that damn woman.”

I wiped my tears with the back of my hand, thinking ‘that damn woman’ as no other than Miss Dandrew. I started to lose the track of our conversation. What he’s talking about? Seeing the plain confusion on my face, he elaborated.

“Miss Dandrew dropped her interest on me as soon as she knew something about me.”

“That you are a burglar?”

“That I am in love with someone else.”

If only you could see his stare upon me after he said those wicked words. So hungry for…something. Those piercing cold eyes stared through and through my very veins and I didn’t know what else to do beside feeling uneasy and slightly aroused. His rooms suddenly felt hotter and damper for the passing minutes. I didn’t dare to stare back into those eyes, so I focused my eyes on his lips. It was a bad decision – I later realized – because apparently Raffles took this as an invitation to approached me and resumed what he did to me a while ago.

“Raffles, stop,” I asked him, “if what you said was what I think you meant than why must you abandon me for weeks?”

He pulled himself away from me for a little bit and ruffled my hair softly, “I’m still sorry about that, Bunny. I was contemplating of how to tell you these feelings I have for the past months.”

I chuckled lightly as he held my cheeks. Warmth instantly spread from his bowler hands.

“These past months?” I asked in disbelief.

“More of these past years, if I must be frank.”

His words were so hard for me to process. He’s always a man of mystery and mischief, but this time I’m at a complete lost. The irony was, I was usually the only man who could understand him.

“These past years?” I echoed because at this point, that’s the only reasonable thing to do.

“I’m afraid I’ve always been a little bit in love with you since the beginning. I was just stupid enough not to realize that,” he chuckled harshly.

“Then what took you so long?” I unconsciously smiled at him.

We were so close, our noses almost brushed each other but he nor I made a move. I was terribly happy at his confession but something told me it wasn’t all he wanted to say. So, I restrained my hopes for not getting too high.

“My ego, mostly.”

I grew tensed. “What do you mean?”

He sighed as he took back his hands from the back of my neck and my waist. “You might want to sit down for this, Bunny.”

“ _What_ do you mean?” I insisted as well as ignored him. Anger started to find its way to my senses.

Raffles eyes filled with conflicts for a brief moment before he spoke again. “I always knew you’re a little bit in love with me too. But I pretend like I don’t because it’s not ethical if I act back and,” he stopped, searching for the best word, “I thought you’re not good enough for me.”

My breath hitched with pain as I stared directly at him. It felt like something (or someone) had shot thousand arrows through my chest and yet it still hurt a thousand more. Raffles had been inadequate and rude to me several times, but this time he was downward cruel and heartless. I felt like storming out and forget about him forever, but I didn’t. I couldn’t. I was his stupid and reckless rabbit and I intended to be his only one.

“All this time. All those sickening flirtation with Lady Beautiful and Rich in front of me. And all those seduction – all those – “

“I’m sorry, Bunny.”

I was about to throw a punch on his beautiful face, but I strained myself. Having a close friend like Raffles had made my self-conscious far worse than before I met him. I knew I wasn’t as charming nor was I as clever man as he was, and his appearance had made me look up to him longer than I should. Now, I didn’t know what my pride is. I was too far in Raffles’ shadow I no longer knew how to be a person without him. His words were true to its core that I couldn’t shake it even just a little; I was never good enough for him nor someone else.

Before I took my leave – feeling completely and utterly defeated by him and my inner-self – he grabbed my wrist. “But she made me realized that you’re everything good and I was the one who’s not good enough for you.”

I looked over my shoulder and noticed his tears under his red and puffy eyes. He was crying but his voice still sounded as strong as before. I widened my eyes as I never ever in my days with him saw him crying.

“She asked me to marry her and moved from England as she’s almost as awful as me in her past live. I was so tempted to accept her offer for I felt you’d better off without me with your life.”

“But you didn’t take her offer,” I finished his sentence.

“For I am a selfish man and I don’t have any intention of sharing my rabbit to anyone other than me.”

I would be lying if that didn’t make me smile foolishly. I lifted his chin with my fingers and smiled, cheeks decorated with happy tears because of his sweet, damned words. We shared a smile as we sighed gladly because things might start to get better for us. Of course, I was still mad at him for playing with my feelings this whole time. But I must remind myself that he’d suffered enough this whole time too. He’s a man of many knowledge and I knew exactly how he hated not knowing. Imagine, a man like Raffles not knowing about his own feelings for years and didn’t have any way to articulate his thoughts for a long time. He must be half crazy by now if that’s the case.

He might be brilliant, but he could be this stupid as I would like to remind him every so often days ahead. He’s cruel but he’s also as soft as cotton. Cold yet as warm as the summer wind. He had fears, doubts, pride, and wants like he invented those things. Raffles – the most complex man I’ve ever known.

And I was the rabbit who could handle such complexity.

**Author's Note:**

> Terribly sorry for the ride. Was it good?


End file.
